Ready to Hibernate

My busiest season is ending. The fall always seems to be a mad rush from event to event without time for planning or reflection and I get to the end of the year desperate for rest.

This pattern started when Patrick started school. Every year, the process of getting the kids settled in their new classes seems to take until mid-October. And, now that we are in Canada, that means that we are still in that chaos when Thanksgiving arrives. Then, Halloween rushes up and the kids change their minds about what they want to be too many times.

November brings NaNoWriMo, a writing challenge that should be simple now that the kids are all in school but isn't, because November is also the month of never-ending colds.

And, by the time I have decompressed from NaNoWriMo, I am late for Christmas planning.

There must be a better system, but I haven't found it.

Although it has been a hugely busy time, I am proud of what I have accomplished:

• William, Michael and Jocelyn have transitioned to a very different school where they are in separate classes for the first time.
• Patrick's school situation in September was bad enough that he changed schools in October. The change was rough but it was necessary.
• My brother took me to England to visit our aging Grandmother and uncles, aunts and cousins.
• I threw a highly successful Halloween party for Patrick and his friends.
• We celebrated Thanksgiving in Canada and the United States.
• I have started writing an irregular column for Durham Region Kids.
• I have started writing a more public blog.
• I have continued planning a website of play and creativity resources.
• I have joined ongoing conversations about advocacy for appropriate education for underserved gifted children.
  
• My NaNoWriMo project was successful.
• I have connected with some InterPlayers and many writers on Twitter. These interactions inspire and motivate me.

Despite the fact that I am exhausted, I would not give up any of the above. Without the creative endeavours, the work involved in raising 4 intense and precocious children would be unbearable. But, new schools and big festivals in the fall combined with my personal projects is a lot to handle.

I am looking forward to the winter. The school situation will be calmer and there are no major holidays. I have a play to direct and a novel to revise, so I will not be resting, but I expect the balance will be better.

Halloween

We had an eventful Halloween weekend. On Saturday, we had a party for Patrick and some of his friends. I invited a few family friends and kids William, Michael, and Jocelyn's age, but most of them couldn't make it.

I had fun planning the food (including punch with plastic spiders in ice cubes) and decorating the house. Cleaning the house enough for company and making room for a lot of 6-8 year olds reminded me of why we only have a few parties a year.

The kids had fun and Jocelyn and Michael made some nice crafts that are now decorating the kitchen. I had planned a good number of games. Most successful was turning the kids into mummies by wrapping them in toilet paper.

I went out with some other moms of triplets on Saturday night. After the younger trio were in bed, Patrick and Andy watched Coraline. Patrick had read the book the previous week and was interested in how the film and the book differed.

On Sunday, we spent much of the day finalizing costumes. Michael's costume needed hemming. Jocelyn needed accessories. It was forecast to be cold and costumes needed to be adapted for layers underneath. William had originally asked to be Spiderman, but changed his mind on Halloween. After considering Buzz Lightyear, he settled on Batman, so I had to improvise a costume out of black trousers, a vampire cape, and some of Patrick's old pajamas (which included a hood with ears). Patrick needed a scabbard attached to his ninja outfit. We got everthing together just in time to taske pictures and go out trick-or-treating.

Patrick went round the neighborhood with some of his peers and their older siblings and Andy and I took the others out. We saw Patrick briefly out in the neighborhood and he was having a great time. Jocelyn, Michael, and William got into the spirit of things and were running up to the doors and ringing the doorbell. We had to help them open their bags as the straps got tangled, but they were otherwise quite self-sufficient.

It was a cold night and we kept it short. Even so, Andy was carrying one bag of candy at the end of the evening as it was too full for Michael to manage with the claws that were part of his costume. William took the lead both in assessing whether there were enough lights on to indicate that somebody was home to give out candy and in making sure that people were thanked for giving out candy. It was wonderful to see them sharing the joy of trick-or-treating with each other. Last year, they had fun, but didn't quite seem to get it. This year, they knew exactly what they were doing and how to do it.

There was much glee in the running from door to door and much melting down when we got home and informed them that they could eat one treat before heading off to bed. But we expected that. All in all, it was a great weekend.

Starting School

We are now well into our first month of the school year. Patrick is continuing French Immersion for his grade 2 year. William, Michael, and Jocelyn have started at a local Montessori school. So far, so good.

Patrick continues to struggle with the fact that school-based learning has too many worksheets and not enough interactive experiences for his taste. But, he is being a good sport about it. His favourite times of the school day are reading his novels on the bus and playing computer games when he has completed his assigned school work.

Jocelyn, William, and Michael have adjusted remarkably well to a full day of school and they seem to be thriving in separate classrooms. For some reason, Jocelyn has decided she would rather have William's teacher, but her teacher says she is doing very well in the classroom. Michael loves the school and talks about wanting to go back when it is time to leave. William loves the other kids that he is meeting. They all get excited when they talk about the work that they enjoy. There is a small amount of discomfort when it turns out that they are not all doing the same thing in their different classes, but not much. Mostly, they just seem excited to see each other at the end of a day apart.

As for me, I'm still adjusting. I have not figured out how to make 4 lunches, feed everybody breakfast and get the breakfast put away before getting the kids off to school. I know a lot of parents make school lunches in the evening, but Patrick likes to have a hot lunch, so I have to make it in the morning. And, I'm not making 2 different lunches. So, for now, I need to make 4 lunches in the morning. Nobody has been late for school or missed the bus, yet. I just have a breakfast mess to clean up after everybody else has gone. All in all, not a bad start to the year.

What I Did on My Summer Vacation

This summer, I didn't make time to write about individual events as they happened. So, rather than overwhelm you with details, I will give you the summary, InterPlay style. In this InterPlay storytelling form, players take turns completing the phrase "I could tell you about...." Like this:

I could tell you about hiking in gorges and walking under waterfalls.

I could tell you about face painting, roller coasters, and cotton candy.

I could tell you about Highland Games and Renaissance Festivals.

I could tell you about taking the kids to Niagara Falls to meet their grandparents who were there for a brief stop as part of a bus tour. I would make sure to tell you about the way their ice cream treats melted all over their faces.

I could tell you about catching millipedes and slugs with butterfly nets. And how the slugs got out of the collecting jars.

I could tell you about enormous chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream cones, vegetable gardens overflowing with produce, and picnics in beautiful places.

I could tell you about Patrick's excitement that he passed the swim test to swim in the deep end of the pool on his first day of Soccer Camp. Or about the fact that he was tall enough to ride all the rides by himself at the Trumansburg Fair.

I could tell you about Michael, William and Jocelyn taking their first swimming lessons. Or taking their first ferry ride. Or going on their first sailboat.

I could tell you about going to Stratford with Andy for a night away from the kids and watching Christopher Plummer as Prospero. Or about being allowed to sleep in as my mother took care of the kids for a while.

I could tell you about bruises, of splinters and bee stings. But I would much rather talk about fire truck rides, balloon toys and playgrounds, or swimming and sailing and sand-castle building. But mostly, I could tell you about adventure and fun that we shared with lots of friends and family.

It was a good summer.

On Bicycles

Teaching Patrick to ride a bicycle hasn't been easy. It is not a skill that has come naturally and Andy and I have been short of opportunities to teach him or even inspire him to practice.

For at least three years, we have been failing to help him master a tricycle or a bicycle (with or without training wheels). At some point, we decided pedaling, balancing, and steering was too much for him to figure out at once, so we gave up on the bike and got him a scooter. We had a summer of frustration with the scooter, too.

Then, this spring, his grandparents came to visit for two weeks and met him at the bus stop after school every day with the scooter. That was the magic. For two weeks, he scooted the block and a half home every day. Andy and I heard stories about his improvement, but he wouldn't show us.

After my parents left, I started walking to meet him at the school bus with the scooter and he improved rapidly. At the same time, we got scooters and balance bikes for the trio. Balance bikes are undersized bikes without pedals used for learning how to balance and steer. Once everybody had bikes and scooters, it became possible to hang out on the driveway every so often with everybody playing with whatever suited their fancy. Within a few weeks, Patrick had mastered the scooter.

For Patrick and the bicycle, the moment of magic was when a babysitter got him out on the driveway using an undersized bike as a balance bike. He was able to take the balance and steering he had learned on the scooter and transfer them to the balance bike. By regularly meeting him at the bus stop with the undersized bike, I gave him an opportunity to master the balance bike in small practice sessions.

In the past week, he spontaneously started trying to pedal the undersized bike but was unable to squeeze himself into a position to make it possible. At the same time, he has been unwilling to try the bigger bike.

Today, I took a risk and took the big bike instead of the undersized bike when we went to meet Patrick. At the bus stop, he complained he was not ready for the big bike yet, but got on anyway. After a few false starts, he managed to get himself pedaling. As he turned onto our street and got the extra momentum of a downward incline, he got it all together for a glorious 10 yards before braking hard. Beaming, he turned for me to acknowledge his success, which I did.

He still is a long way from just getting on his bike and riding, but it looks like this will be the summer Patrick learns to ride a bike.

Pansies from Patrick - A Mother's Day Story

There are moments that make the hard work of motherhood worthwhile. Sometimes they are subtle and hard to describe. Not this week. For the first time, prompted only by an opportunity at school, Patrick arranged a Mother's Day gift for me without any help from his father.

We began giving Patrick an allowance this year to teach him about money and money management. So far, most of the lessons have been in the form of "If you don't put your money somewhere safe, you lose it." He has started to pay attention to the cost of things he would like to buy and to ask for credit from his parents if he wants something and hasn't brought any money with him.

From time to time, things are sold at school during the day: a popcorn fundraiser, a Scholastic book fair, a bake sale on Valentine's Day, etc. During the course of this year, there has been a transition from Patrick asking for money for such sales to his choosing to take money from his piggy bank.

Last Thursday, he showed me some money as he was leaving for school and said he was taking it to school to buy flowers. I had no idea what he was talking about. He was short of time, so I merely reminded him to keep it somewhere safe as he rushed out the door with Andy heading for the bus stop. He came off the bus that afternoon holding two pansies, which he presented to me for Mother's Day. I beamed at him and thanked him as richly as I could while keeping my eye on his siblings, who were bolting in different directions.

One of the flowers hit its peak during the day on Thursday and was wilting slightly by Friday morning. Patrick became worried that it wouldn't last until Mother's Day.

When I met Patrick at the bus stop on Friday, he presented me with a third pansy, saying "In case the other one loses it's flowers before Sunday." Once again, I thanked him less fully than I might have liked due to the chaos on the street corner.

Yesterday morning, I took a quiet moment in the kitchen while Patrick was with me to confirm that he had not involved Andy in the pansy purchasing and let myself show him my pride and joy at what a generous boy he was. This is the first time that he has planned in advance to buy something for somebody else with his money. I am moved by the sweetness of his gesture and look forward to enjoying the pansies in the front garden this summer. I have no doubt that I will smile every time I notice them, thinking of the sweet young boy who gave them to me. My son.

Birthday Reflections

William, Michael and Jocelyn had their third birthday this week. They have easily grasped the fact that now they are 3 instead of 2. They have absorbed the key elements of the North American birthday ritual. Cake and candles and the birthday song were all expected. Cards and presents seemed like an extra bonus. By next year, I expect they will be asking for specific presents. Actual celebrations have been spread out: an extended family gathering last weekend, just the 6 of us on the actual day, and a small party with friends this weekend. Spreading gifts out is wonderful, and they eat so little junk food that I don't mind overdoing the birthday sweets a little.

They have been asked to give up their daytime comfort blankets. This is a big transition for them, but it has gone well so far. The goal is to get the nighttime blankets out soon, too. I would generally let them give up comfort objects when they felt ready, but they suck on the blankets in a way that encourages poor jaw positioning and pushes their teeth out of shape. I would prefer to find alternatives to the blanket now than guarantee the need for braces later.

3 and 4 were such challenging ages with Patrick that I find myself worrying about what the next year will bring rather than celebrating having survived the past 3 years. The intense power struggles have begun. Patrick is finding it challenging to have three more intense personalities in the house with opinions. Until they were making their opinions known with words, he found that he could easily get his way. Now that they are learning to negotiate, he is being pushed to develop his sharing and negotiating skills. It can only be good in the long run.

With the warmer weather upon us, we have been practicing getting out and about without extra adults. Meeting Patrick at his bus stop has become a 30 minute daily adventure. Jocelyn, Michael, William and I walk the block and half to the bus stop and then wait for 5-10 minutes for the bus to arrive. We are developing games to play safely at the street corner and sometimes enjoy a snack. I bring Patrick's helmet and scooter. When Patrick meets us, we go and get the mail. Our mail box is as far away from our house as Patrick's bus stop but on the opposite side of the house. We have a several block loop that Patrick scoots and the others run and walk with me. We have to practice crossing the street safely and waiting for the others to catch up. It doesn't always work smoothly, but it does always work out. It is good to get the outdoor time every day and I am building the confidence I need to start taking all of the kids on bigger walks by myself.

Patrick's skill on the scooter is improving fast. The next challenge is teaching the little ones to use their scooters safely. It's going to be a whole new adventure when we can take all the kids out on their scooters together.