Not My Favourite Vacation

Travel with four children under 6 is a challenge. But, we do take a few road trips each year to stay at my parents' house in upstate New York. For Patrick's March break this year, we decided to change things up a bit. My parents also have a house in Maryland, and we decided to trek further South to visit them there.

We have a good travel routine for the 6-hour journey to New York, so we decided to use the same basic routine two days in a row to go the additional 6-hours South to Maryland. We like to set off after an early dinner and hope that the kids fall asleep at a reasonable time. So, our plans were: drive to the house in New York on Friday night, continue on to Maryland on Saturday night and return with the same schedule the following weekend. My mother was already in Maryland, but my father would meet us in the middle and drive down with us on Saturday.

Packing for Andy, Patrick and myself is easy. We set things aside over the two or three days before a trip and are ready to go the morning of the trip. Packing for William, Jocelyn, and Michael is hard. A lot of what they need on the journey are things they use every day: security blankets, sippy cups, bedding, favorite toys and books, and that sort of thing.

Throughout the day of our departure, packing occurs as possible. When the kids have finished using something, it gets added to the pile - usually in a random bag, and often still needing to be washed. We order pizza for dinner and one adult works on packing the car while the other feeds the kids. At this point, Patrick is anxious to be on the road and the little ones have realized something is up and just want their normal bedtime routine. As soon as dinner is finished, the kids get packed into the car. Michael, William, and Jocelyn need to be in the car before we can finish putting the bags in because of the location of cargo space - the rear of the vehicle being entirely full with a triple stroller and various small bags in the spaces around the stroller. Once the kids are in, Andy and I run around the house and attempt to get the garbage out, the lights off, the heating turned down, and all the other last minute things that need to happen before leaving town. This time, one of our neighbors came over and helped out with the kids. Her help enabled us to get on the road at least 45 minutes earlier than if we had been on our own.

Patrick is always a trouper at this point. He knows that if he behaves, he will be allowed to watch a movie on the portable DVD-player before he is expected to sleep. For this vacation, he was given a new movie - an animated version of Roald Dahl's The BFG - and he was excited to watch it. (He ended up watching it on three of the four long car drives.)

For this drive, things were smooth. The border crossing was quick and easy. We stopped at our usual rest area to switch drivers and use the facilities. Jocelyn and William fell asleep early. Patrick fell asleep quickly after his movie. Michael didn't get enough sleep, but he was quiet. We arrived at our destination in good time. My mother and father had set up beds for all the kids in their usual rooms, so everything was set for going to bed upon arrival. Patrick slipped downstairs to his bedroom as soon as we arrived - hardly noticing the transition. The younger set had a quick run around when we unloaded the car and fell back to sleep quickly.

The next morning started ominously, with the two youngest boys climbing out of their travel cribs. The house in Maryland had never seen the triplets and Andy and I worried for the safety of the house and the kids. Nevertheless, we had an excellent day of rest - visiting my aunt and uncle on their new farm. Patrick was particularly pleased as he got a fabulous ride on their new ATV and saw bats.

We changed our minds about our travel plans and set off mid-afternoon with plans to stop for supper. During the little one's nap, the adults furiously packed up food, gates, and toys. The beds were packed up during the post-nap snack. We set off in two fully laden cars. Patrick rode the first leg of the journey with his grandfather and then moved into the family car after dinner. Stopping for dinner sounded good in theory, but the little ones were too excited to eat properly, so we had hungry toddlers later. My father headed off to Maryland, expecting to drive faster than us, with the travel beds for the four kids in his car. He did arrive before us and he and my mother set the beds up for the kids. Patrick had a little alcove next to our room and the little ones were in a room downstairs. So far, so good. Patrick went up to bed without trouble and the others were reluctantly put into their cribs for the night.

And then, William and Michael climbed out of their travel cribs. Jocelyn watched, learned, and joined them. Much later that same evening, they eventually fell asleep. We had taken the mattresses out of the cribs and created a pen around them into which we put the children one at a time, each one waiting until the previous one was asleep. When they were finally all asleep, Andy and I headed up to bed, exhausted. We were woken early in the morning by Patrick who had thrown up, and proceeded to be throw up again later in the morning.

So, we woke the following morning with one sick child - luckily, no longer vomiting - and three toddlers who could not be counted on to be safely contained at bedtime. We had a mellow day at home to help Patrick rest and busied ourselves making the downstairs room safe for climbing children. By the evening, we felt ready to face putting the little ones to bed in the now-safer room and Patrick was clearly weak but better.

And then, within minutes of each other, Jocelyn and William threw up - and continued to throw up for hours. When things seemed to have slowed down, all the kids beds were moved. The cribs were taken upstairs to be in with Andy and me, and Patrick's bed was taken downstairs. Michael went to sleep easily in his crib, and the other two slept some. There was more vomiting and Andy and I took turns with sick children in the bathroom. Shortly after 2 am, Michael joined the party and was sick as well. By this time, Andy and I were in the alcove between our room and the bathroom on the floor with the three toddlers, not wanting to move any further from the bathroom. The kids piled on the grown-ups and we all eventually fell asleep on the floor for a few hours of the best sleep of the night.

The following day, my mother came down with the bug, but the kids stopped throwing up. Jocelyn was extremely weak and William was hardly any better. Patrick was recovering, and Michael was acting as though nothing was really out of sorts. That night saw Andy sleeping on the bathroom floor by himself as he came down with it. The following night, it was my turn. One blessing: the heat was on the fritz and our room was incredibly hot, so the cool bathroom was actually the most comfortable temperature for sleeping. All in all, it was a mess. The one good thing about the little ones being sick is that they didn't bother climbing out of their cribs again.

By Thursday, everybody was in good enough shape that we were able to get to a local playground during the day and headed into Virginia to see some old friends for dinner. The one hiccup on the drive to Virginia was that my mother was not back from work yet and she had taken the car with Patrick's booster seat with her. So, we stopped at Toys R Us on the way out of town to buy a booster seat for Patrick. At Toys R Us, the backless booster seats were hiding and I had to ask Customer Service to help me find them. It was a pain, but we managed it and still got to our friends' house in good time.

Friday was a good day - another trip to the playground - but once again, full of packing. This time, my mother had taken a half-full car to the Metro station before she headed into D.C. for a meeting. She would head up to the New York house from there. Among the things she had was Patrick's bed. My father would carry the safety gates and the cribs. Andy and I took the kids and the rest of our things and would stop for supper on the way. My father left half an hour or so after us and finished cleaning up the house before coming out. My father drives faster than we do and stops less, so the expectation was that he would arrive in plenty of time to get the kids beds set up. As it was, my mother had awful traffic, my father got lost, and we made decent time. My father arrived with time to set up the cribs.

My mother was not there before us, so Patrick had no bed to slip into. But, she arrived within half an hour of us and the first thing we did was get Patrick to bed. In the morning, Patrick had no recollection of coming in from the car and being ushered to the sofa, where he lay down and slept until my mother arrived and the aerobed was inflated for him. He also had no memory of walking clumsily down the spiral staircase to get into bed.

On Saturday, we took a lovely walk in the woods and packed for the journey back to Toronto. We got on the road in good time after an early supper. Things looked good until we got into Buffalo. We just barely saw a sign that told us of a 1-2 hour wait at the Canadian border at the bridge we usually use. Luckily, we managed to figure out the route to a different bridge with a 0-30 minute advertised wait before the turnoff that committed us to the usual bridge. Andy, working with the map and the GPS navigation system, got us to the Fort Erie Bridge without trouble. And then began the wait at Customs, where I managed to pick the worst lane by about a 30-minute margin. There was trouble with the traffic pattern ahead of us and at least half a dozen cars weren't really in a lane and needed to merge into our lane. After Customs, there was another wait to get through the toll plaza for the bridge. Even so, we were through the back-up in less than the hour or more being advertised at the Lewiston bridge, so we were happy.

The rest of the journey was uneventful and the kids all went to bed pretty easily once we got home. It wasn't until the following night that William, and Michael took the experience they gained climbing out of the travel cribs and turned it into motivation to climb out of the full-size cribs at home. And so, a new adventure began as we started the process of getting them to sleep in proper beds.

We had a couple of good days in there, and it was nice to have my parents around when Andy and I got sick, but I have to say it was a vacation I would rather not repeat.

Learning To Love the Snow

When we moved from California, Patrick was 3. He had seen snow, but not had much experience with it. It didn't take him long to turn his fascination with this new kind of weather into true enthusiasm. He quickly realized that snow is wet and cold and worth dressing appropriately for. It was much harder to convince him that a clear, sunny fall or winter day without snow could be cold enough to require a winter coat, hat and gloves. Now, in the midst of our third winter in Ontario, he is an old hand at dressing for the weather and usually does a fine job. He loves to sled, skate, and make snowmen, snow forts, and snow angels. This year, we have had deep, soft snow and he has enjoyed simply trudging through it. Teaching Michael, William and Jocelyn about winter weather and the fun that snow can be has been more challenging.

Last winter we hardly had them out in the snow at all. For one thing, they couldn't yet walk, so they had no way of generating extra body heat through exercise. They got brief excursions between the car and various buildings and they saw winter through the window, and that was about it.

At the beginning of this winter, we had a few days with light flurries and no accumulation. I made a point of getting the kids outside to feel the snow on their faces. They were enthusiastic about the new experience as long as I didn't let them get cold.

The first day that there was an significant snow on the ground, Andy and I bundled them up in snowsuits and took them outside. It took a good 20 minutes to get them all into their outdoor gear. Gloves and hats were removed several times, boots were resisted and the snowsuits were a struggle. Once they were finally dressed, we opened the door and let them out. They stood inside for some time, unsure of how to proceed. Eventually, they braved the new environment. William and Jocelyn had an easier time walking than Michael, who tripped every time he tried to move. Jocelyn and William managed to move around enough to get frustrated that they couldn't run and climb. After just a few minutes, each of them had fallen, gotten snow inside their mittens and started crying to come inside. Half an hour after beginning the adventure, we were back inside and undressed.

Shortly afterward, they were given fleece buntings that are easier to walk in than the snowsuits, but not as warm. The first successful adventure into the snow was in the buntings in warm weather. It was just 10 minutes or so in the front yard, but they actually enjoyed walking around and watching their big brother run and fall in the snow.

By now, they are comfortable walking in their snow suits, but don't like the cold. On the few warm days that we have had, they have really enjoyed being outside. Walking in boots has become a favorite activity inside, so they are now quite good at running in boots when they aren't in snowsuits.

If the snow gets deep enough, it is hard to walk in. 4 inches is about what my kids can handle. And we have had a lot more snow than that most of the winter. So, unless the snow is well packed, they like to stand on shoveled surfaces and kick at the snow piles.

We haven't ventured far in the snowy outdoors. It is too easy for a fun time to become miserable when somebody gets cold. But, it is a beginning. By next year, we should be ready to try sledding on the local hill as long as the weather isn't too terribly cold.

It Gets Easier; It Gets Harder

There is a saying among some triplet families that the hardest ages are "the first six months and the age you are at now." I think that is overly simplistic, but it has a grain of truth to it. Each developmental stage is different and each parent has some stages which seem easier than others. Because I have an older child, I have seen the different ages before, so nothing is entirely new. However, the developmental stages manifest differently in each child, so I am always learning.

The first six months are incredibly difficult. Three infants simply require a lot of hands on care. They eat often, sleep often, and need to be changed often. They are not yet on reliable schedules. They probably don't sleep through the night. They can do nothing for themselves. In our case, add the challenge of finding time for an older child who has gone from the only child to the one most capable of fending for himself. Simply to survive is an achievement.

As they get older, all children learn to do more for themselves, go through different stages of development and need different forms of teaching. The transition from compliant baby happy to just play with a few toys and people into a curious, independent toddler who wants to do everything now is challenging with one child. With three, it gets a whole new level of complexity.

With Patrick, I had the time and energy to work with him to reduce his frustration as much as possible. My whole world revolved around entertaining, distracting, and teaching him. He was strong-willed, fiercely independent, and demanding, but I had the energy and attention to meet him where he was. We had our share of tantrums and struggles, but we had a lot of fun as well. With three children going through this developmental transition at the same time, the challenges are different. And so are the joyful moments.

Because they are used to being together, Michael, Jocelyn and William play together remarkably well. Most children under 2 do not play "together." At this age, playing alongside each other is the most that is expected of kids. William, Jocelyn and Michael will play peek-a-boo, chasing games, and tickling games with each other, and they are learning to take turns. Also, because they have been forced to spend much of their lives entertaining themselves while all the grown-ups are busy, they are very good at playing on their own. For long periods, they can play wonderfully without any adult intervention.

However, when things get rough, they get very rough, very fast. Biting is common. Hitting, kicking and hair pulling are not uncommon. Screaming is common, and when one starts, often they all start.

This is an age where children need Mummy tremendously when they need her, and there is not a lot of room for sharing her when the need is greatest. I have been known to spend an hour picking up and comforting one child only to have them let loose when I pick up a second upset child, and then to have the third little one become upset because the noise is too much - at which point, Patrick usually needs something and screams loudly to get his needs met, too.

Because I now have 4 children who are asking for what they want and testing my limits, there are moments when the simplest practical task is hard. And yet, when they play well together, or hold each other's hands when crossing the street, life is much easier than it was a few months ago.

I have no illusions. I expect that there will be things that get harder and things that get easier forever. I know that the limit pushing of 3 almost 2-year olds is likely to be less vigourous than that of 3 almost 3-year olds. I know that the demands of 3 5-year olds and a 9-year old who want to do different things will be hard to manage. And yet, I also believe that as they get older, there will be times when they play well together, help out around the house and otherwise make life fun and easier as a family.

I only hope that I can enjoy the good moments and not worry too much about the challenges.

2008 - An End of Year Summary

Photographs taken as recently as July stun us with how much our youngest kids look like babies. The children we know are not babies any more. At the beginning of 2008, Jocelyn and William were mobile and pulling up to standing; Michael was hardly mobile and not standing. Now, all three climb, run, and dance. William even jumps. In January, meals were bottles of formula and Cheerios. Now, Patrick, Jocelyn, William, and Michael eat the same foods and the youngsters drink from open cups at table and sippy cups and straw bottles when out.

Patrick has grown from a beginning reader to a confident reader. He continues to be increasingly independent. He has realized that the more he can do for himself, the less he has to wait for an adult to be available to help him.

We have been very family-centred this year. In general, friends have seen little of us and heard hardly more. We blame this on sheer exhaustion and hope we will be forgiven when we do resurface.

I made time to direct a play at a local community theatre and to complete the challenge of National Novel Writing Month (www.nanowrimo.org). Both were time consuming and stressors for the family, but both were worthwhile. The novel writing was particularly satisfying. For those who are unfamiliar with NaNoWriMo, the challenge is simple: write the first word of a novel no earlier than November 1st and write 50,000 words of said novel by midnight of November 30th. I am currently starting the process of editing my 50,000 words, which is a different challenge, but I must say that I am pleasantly surprised by the quality of what I wrote in November.

2009 promises many changes. Jocelyn, William and Michael will probably start some sort of preschool. Patrick will start grade 1 and move to full day school - probably in French Immersion. I will have to decide how to spend any time I get from the kids being in school longer, and will probably be looking for some form of income - though how likely that is with the current state of the global economy is in question.

May the year bring health and joy to us all.

Depending on the Kindness of ... Well, Anyone Who Offers

I am at the grocery store with all four kids. Patrick and I are each pushing a shopping cart. I have Jocelyn and Michael with me and Patrick has William. Patrick is set on steering without assistance, so I keep my distance and watch him weave William through the aisles, stepping in only when store inventory is in danger. Jocelyn and Michael are busy making each other laugh. William is watching Patrick. And I am trying to remember the 3 things I came into the store to buy.

I just barely feel like I am getting into the swing of things when Patrick announces that he needs to pee. Luckily, Patrick is old enough that I know I have a few minutes to find a washroom, but I still panic a little.

I think to myself, "Okay Kate, deep breath. First, find a staff member and ask directions." There is an employee just in front of me in the aisle. Great. "Excuse me, but where is the washroom?" "Upstairs." She goes on to give me directions, but I stopped hearing her after "upstairs." I can feel myself drawing a mental blank, failing to solve the problem of four children under 6, two shopping carts, stairs, a washroom and a child who needs to pee. I can just feel the fog clearing enough for me to ask about an elevator, when I become aware that a person in the aisle is approaching. I have almost realized that I can take William out of the still empty shopping cart and create a more manageable scenario, when a woman about my age approaches me. I recognize her. Not more than 5 minutes ago, I saw her and she made an endearing comment about me and the kids. I get a lot of comments, but I remember the people who say things that touch me. She had made a good one. "Can I help?" she asks.

I am still in the mental fog, so I simply say, "I'm trying to get him to the washroom," and point at Patrick. She nods and says, "Would you like me to watch the little ones while you take him? I'll just keep them here and entertain them." I look at her and make a snap judgment that I can trust her. "That sure would help," I say. As she steps over to smile at William, Patrick takes off for the stairs. As I reach the tops of the stairs, I realize that if I trust Patrick to go to the Men's room by himself, I can stand outside the door and look out over the balcony and wave to my 3 other kids. I choose to do this. I am not in control but I feel good about how I am managing my risks.

I send Patrick off to the washroom and turn to wave down to the aisle below. The woman watching the little ones has moved the carts so that all of the kids were able to watch me and Patrick and they are now all looking up at me and smiling. Patrick is quick and we bound back down to rejoin the family.

"Bless you," I say to the woman and my heart swells with relief and gratitude.

As we move off down the aisle to continue shopping, Patrick takes over pushing William's cart. She asks me how old Patrick is. When I say, "5," she says to Patrick, "You are a great helper." She follows up with a comment that implies that her 6 year-old son isn't always such a help. As she says this, I realize that Patrick is, indeed, a great helper. And so, of course, is she. On that day, I needed both of them.

What Makes a Great Day

There is no such thing as a perfect day in the world of triple toddlerdom, but some days come close.

There are some things that need not to happen to make a day a good day. No biting. No half hour-long tantrums, no major injuries, no taking away of privileges. And, there are some things that must happen for a good day: naps of decent lengths at decent times being the most important.

But, for a day to be great, there are entirely different criteria.

A great day requires forgetting about the housework that is never finished and the paperwork that could be done and the homework that isn't finished. On a great day, I forget about the coulds and shoulds and focus on the here and now and play with my family. It is possible to have a great day anywhere, but it comes more easily if we get away from the house.

On a great day out, the edges of the day usually look a little ragged. Getting out of the house in the morning takes ages and is sufficiently hurried that Andy and I wonder why we are going to do whatever it is we have planned. And, if the event goes well, there is usually at least one meltdown at the end when we load the kids back into the car before they are ready to leave.

So, with all that chaos in getting out, what makes it a great day? Simply this: by getting away from all the things at home that "need to be done", we are able to just enjoy each other. And that is what makes a great day.

We have had some great days out recently, including trips to the Sciencenter in Ithaca, NY; the Ajax Pumpkinville festival; an apple orchard west of Toronto; the Oshawa Zoo; a pumpkin patch in Oshawa, and beaches in Pickering, Whitby, and Ajax.

It doesn't take much of an event for us to enjoy the activity. But, it does tend to take an event or a destination to get us out of the house and into the spirit of relaxation and fun. Without a specific destination decided upon several days in advance, it is too easy to stay home. And, when we stay home, it is too easy to focus on getting stuff done rather than enjoying each other's company.

When we get away from the work of maintaining a house, we can see Patrick being exuberant, vibrant, and curious. We can see toddlers exploring a brave new world. We can share the fun of stomping in puddles (thank you, William), poking things with sticks (thank you, Jocelyn), and climbing anything in sight with abandon (thank you, Michael). When we are somewhere new and the kids are all exploring, we explore with them. We bring our attention to the little things, the new things, the details.

We can take the foursome to a playground and watch them explore differently. Patrick bounds over the top of anything he can climb. Jocelyn finds something that looks interesting but is challenging and repeats it several times, until she decides she know how to do it and then moves on to something new. Michael covers a distance - up to the top, down to the bottom, across all sides - making sure he hasn't missed the perfect climbing or hiding spot. And William tries to be like Patrick, until he is distracted by a dog or something that requires intense concentration.

We can go for a walk and notice that Patrick runs on ahead, Jocelyn looks at everything, Michael gets down on hands and knees to feel the ground beneath him, and William rushes on as fast as possible to get to the next corner or puddle. William has a hard time avoiding a puddle. Jocelyn collects leaves. Patrick sometimes stops for a caterpillar or butterfly, but mostly runs. Michael may walk beside you but he prefers not to hold your hand. Everybody smiles at things they enjoy, tasks they accomplish, dogs they pass.

On a great day, I notice these details and savour them. Each individual moment may not seem significant, but a collection of savoured moments becomes a treasure.

Old Hobbies in New Countries

One of the nice things about community theatre as a hobby is that you can meet people almost anywhere you move. By their nature, community theatres depend on lots of volunteers to keep going. And, because you have a project you are focused on, there is always something to talk about. Even the smallest company needs people to run front of house and perform onstage. All other functions can be duplicated by those people, but it does help to have designers, directors, set builders and painters, and stage managers. Generally, theatres are started because people want to act, but sometimes because people want to direct. In any case, there are usually more actors than can be used and a shortage of technical people. It isn't surprising to discover that one person does all the sound or all the lights, or even both, for a small theatre. Burnout is a real problem, so new energy is always appreciated.

For people like Andy and me who have technical skills and as much interest in the production end of things as performing, it is easy to find theatres that want us. It is usually as simple as saying, “Hey, do you need any help?” And, because we apply ourselves diligently to any project we undertake and hold ourselves to high standards, we tend to get asked back. We like to think that we are also friendly and fun to work with.

The trouble with theatre as a hobby is that it takes a lot of time. For families with kids, it is hard to be home enough with the kids and still at the theatre for rehearsals. The biggest challenge is bedtime, because young kids like to have mum or dad around at bedtime and don't like routines disturbed. But, bedtime is usually about the time rehearsals start. For me to undertake a theatrical commitment, Andy has to commit to getting home from work early several nights a week for several weeks. This is a big decision and not one to make lightly. Also, the last two weeks before performance are usually intensely busy, and require a lot of time at the theatre every day.

So, it was with trepidation and a lot of hope that Andy and I decided we would try to make it possible for me to do a show. I was needing a break from doing nothing but kid and house stuff and I was intrigued when one of the local community theatres advertised that they needed directors. I ordered the scripts of the plays in question and decided that I was interested in the scripts. Andy and I went to a show at the theatre to see if the quality was acceptable. The show, “Jeckle and Hyde” is a difficult musical and the production was not bad for community theatre. It had all of the problems that are standard for community theatres doing musicals, but the overall effect was entertaining. And that was good enough for me.

I emailed the theatre and got an interview. I had put my name in as a possible director for two shows – “Dracula” and “The Kitchen Witches” and needed to put together a proposal for both plays in a couple of weeks. For those two weeks, I spent evenings reading the plays and doing research on the Internet. I printed out images that seemed like good ideas for set and costume design and thought about characters and casting. I thought about the strengths and weaknesses of the script. The “Dracula” is a comic melodrama, which isn't quite how I prefer my Dracula, but it had some interesting twists. “The Kitchen Witches” script has a substantial weakness in that the arc of the humour is funky. There are slapstick, food fights, and audience participation in the middle of the show and the final two scenes are deeper emotionally. The humour and the emotion are character driven, so I thought that I could get a cast to keep the whole show together. Reviews of “The Kitchen Witches” made it clear that most performances focused on the physical humour and fell apart during the end of the show because the audience wasn't engaged with the overall story and the characters. Since I approach any show from the characters, it seemed like a good fit for me. Because I thought “The Kitchen Witches” would be a bigger challenge, I spent more time on it and ended up putting together a better proposal for that show, despite actually having more desire to direct “Dracula.” In any case, the interviewing committee asked me to direct “The Kitchen Witches.”

Finding the time at home to read the script and plan for rehearsals has been a challenge. Making sure that Andy and I both eat on the nights that I have rehearsal has been a challenge. Andy has been stellar about getting home early, but it has been stressful. He usually comes home, puts the kids to bed, and then works from home. The nights he doesn't have to be home, he works late to make up for it.

My mother is coming for most of the two weeks before the show opens. We will need her. Especially since I roped Andy into being my sound designer.

In some ways, I dislike having Andy design sound for a show I am directing because I we don't have the childcare to get him to rehearsal as often as he likes. Both he and I know that he could do a much better job if he were free to go to rehearsals and time scenes and understand the show as it being performed. He ends up somewhat frustrated that he can't do his best work. On the other hand, a shoddy job by Andy is better than a top-notch job by almost any other sound designer that I have worked with in community theatre. And, we can work together at home on the design elements before he gets to the theatre, which is fun. Andy and I met through a community theatre and spent a lot of time working on shows together before we had kids, so working on a show together reminds us of a more carefree and creative time. It is fun, but more importantly, it is good for our relationship.

The commitment to doing a show is huge and it is hard to manage with young kids, but there is a payoff. And that makes the difference. This process of putting together this show is so much chaos and such a challenge to schedule that I think it will be some time before I do another show – or at least before I take on a directing project. On the other hand, it is nice to know that we can do this if we choose.