What Makes a Great Day

There is no such thing as a perfect day in the world of triple toddlerdom, but some days come close.

There are some things that need not to happen to make a day a good day. No biting. No half hour-long tantrums, no major injuries, no taking away of privileges. And, there are some things that must happen for a good day: naps of decent lengths at decent times being the most important.

But, for a day to be great, there are entirely different criteria.

A great day requires forgetting about the housework that is never finished and the paperwork that could be done and the homework that isn't finished. On a great day, I forget about the coulds and shoulds and focus on the here and now and play with my family. It is possible to have a great day anywhere, but it comes more easily if we get away from the house.

On a great day out, the edges of the day usually look a little ragged. Getting out of the house in the morning takes ages and is sufficiently hurried that Andy and I wonder why we are going to do whatever it is we have planned. And, if the event goes well, there is usually at least one meltdown at the end when we load the kids back into the car before they are ready to leave.

So, with all that chaos in getting out, what makes it a great day? Simply this: by getting away from all the things at home that "need to be done", we are able to just enjoy each other. And that is what makes a great day.

We have had some great days out recently, including trips to the Sciencenter in Ithaca, NY; the Ajax Pumpkinville festival; an apple orchard west of Toronto; the Oshawa Zoo; a pumpkin patch in Oshawa, and beaches in Pickering, Whitby, and Ajax.

It doesn't take much of an event for us to enjoy the activity. But, it does tend to take an event or a destination to get us out of the house and into the spirit of relaxation and fun. Without a specific destination decided upon several days in advance, it is too easy to stay home. And, when we stay home, it is too easy to focus on getting stuff done rather than enjoying each other's company.

When we get away from the work of maintaining a house, we can see Patrick being exuberant, vibrant, and curious. We can see toddlers exploring a brave new world. We can share the fun of stomping in puddles (thank you, William), poking things with sticks (thank you, Jocelyn), and climbing anything in sight with abandon (thank you, Michael). When we are somewhere new and the kids are all exploring, we explore with them. We bring our attention to the little things, the new things, the details.

We can take the foursome to a playground and watch them explore differently. Patrick bounds over the top of anything he can climb. Jocelyn finds something that looks interesting but is challenging and repeats it several times, until she decides she know how to do it and then moves on to something new. Michael covers a distance - up to the top, down to the bottom, across all sides - making sure he hasn't missed the perfect climbing or hiding spot. And William tries to be like Patrick, until he is distracted by a dog or something that requires intense concentration.

We can go for a walk and notice that Patrick runs on ahead, Jocelyn looks at everything, Michael gets down on hands and knees to feel the ground beneath him, and William rushes on as fast as possible to get to the next corner or puddle. William has a hard time avoiding a puddle. Jocelyn collects leaves. Patrick sometimes stops for a caterpillar or butterfly, but mostly runs. Michael may walk beside you but he prefers not to hold your hand. Everybody smiles at things they enjoy, tasks they accomplish, dogs they pass.

On a great day, I notice these details and savour them. Each individual moment may not seem significant, but a collection of savoured moments becomes a treasure.