Menu Item 3 on the Joy Diet is Desire. And, by "desire", Martha Beck means what your heart really wants. Her theory is that if you honour your deepest desires, you will be on the path to an authentic, joyful life. In this chapter, she has some techniques for distinguishing the things you think you want from the things you truly desire. Part of the trick is asking yourself what you want after you have rested in nothing and then, being honest with yourself, asking "what do I want?" See how menu items 1 and 2 are still in the picture. The other part of the trick is some follow-up questions once you have reached that point.
I was not surprised to discover that I am not in touch with my deep desires at the moment. Most of my current desires have to do with finding time and space to really deepen my meditations and listen for the wisdom of my body about how to move forward into satisfying my own needs. However, I did have one real "aha" moment that I have no doubt will prove to be useful.
When I met Steve Jobs as a child, he was my hero. He had just started NeXT and gave me a t-shirt that he signed with the message "Let's go change the world." And, I always felt that was my goal, but I have never known what kind of change ws meaningful to me, so I never knew where best to put my efforts. At the same time, I have always wanted to be famous, but I never had a sense of what kind of fame for what kind of thing would really feel like I had made it. I had an insight that combined both of those impulses into a new one. I'm sure it is still a beginning image and that it will change as I listen for my desires, so I am not going to share it openly here. I have a history of committing to shallow desires and running headlong into worlds that were not what I would have chosen if I had sat still and listened more deeply before taking active steps. I want not to do that this time.
Next week, The Joy Diet starts the process of moving forward more actively by calling us towards using our creativity in service of our desires. So, I am trusting the process and chosing to slow things down and spend more time with the baby steps of discovery rather than leaping recklessly.
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5 comments:
I like that you know yourself...you know that some of the desires you have recognized in the past and worked to fulfill haven't been the best you could do -- that you weren't setting the bar high enough for yourself. You want to change the world and be famous and you have some idea germinating about how that might happen. I wish you much success with this desire. Go for the big one and don't sell yourself short on desires that are really false. Only the true will do!
Time will out the real desire. Thanks for sharing.
It feels like just articulating these feelings about desire is bringing you closer to them.
I find your comment on wanting to sit with your insight & letting it ripen a bit before sharing so wise. Last year I found myself with 'flash' interests (tho some have returned) that I'd be SO engaged with - for a few weeks! Then - pfft! on to the next!
Some of them I'm reexamining during this time of fine tuning, interesting to see some of those interests coming in stronger, & others fading.
I commend your ability to honor your process and slow down as needed, and to hold your deepest desires close to you rather than sharing them at this time. Bravo!
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