A Trio, Not Three of a Kind

It is hard to avoid a certain amount of batch processing with triplets, but some approaches seem more batch than necessary. For some things, a group makes sense. Mealtimes and bedtime, for instance. For others, a more individual approach strikes me as healthier.

Despite the unanimous agreement of people who claim to be experts that it is a bad idea, plenty of parents of multiples give their kids names that rhyme, start with the same letter, end with the same sound, or have some other "cute" relationship. Now, I have to confess that there is a relationship between the names of our trio, but I wouldn't call it a "cute" one; they are all family names. That said, they do come from two different families.

I have always been irritated, especially, by the folks who dress their multiples in matching clothes. From my perspective it focuses on their groupness and the random fact that they share a birthday rather than on the fact that they are three special little people. And, I think it is worse for identical multiples because they have a hard time establishing their uniqueness without matching clothes. And so, I have never before dressed my trio alike.

But, today, when I reached into the drawers to get clothes, I found a burgundy top and blue trousers on the top of all of Michael, William and Jocelyn's piles. Since I consciously dress them differently, I was curious to see what it would be like to put them all in these similar outfits. Michael was in denim overalls and a turtleneck, William in denim overalls and a henley, and Jocelyn was in a boyish long sleeve t-shirt and cargo sweatpants. Each of them were super cute. They didn't match exactly, but they were definitely a set. And, it irritated me all day. Sure, it was cute, but it seemed cute at the expense of my lovely children's unique personalities. When people look at my kids, I don't want them to see "Patrick and the Triplets", I want them to see Patrick the goofy, Jocelyn the imp, climbing Michael, and laughing William.

Michael, William and Jocelyn are sufficiently different in behaviour, mood, size, coloring, facial features, etc. that those of us who are with them every day were never in serious trouble with identifying them, but the neighbor girl who comes over once a week or so got the boys confused several times.

In the past, I had thought I could make allowances for people who wanted to have the cuteness factor in special pictures, but, after today, I have changed my mind on that. Special pictures tend to be seen by people who don't see you very often and these are the people who most need help in telling the kids apart. And public outings are worse; the kids are actually going to be there to hear if you don't get their names right.

And so, I don't think I'll be repeating this little experiment, but I'm quite glad I actually did it once.