Food.
Some days, I feel as though I think of nothing but food. There are so many options and so many questions. We have the money to buy a wide variety of food and a huge selection at our local grocery stores, farmer's markets, etc. I do not spend all day thinking about how we will afford the basic calories we need to survive. I spend all day thinking about how to exercise our options.
What to feed everybody? What ingredients do I need in the house? When can I get grocery shopping or can I get Andy to do it for me? When do I need to start cooking? Is it already too late to start dinner in the slow cooker? Is this a reasonable nutritional mix? How can we afford to feed the whole family the wholesome, tasty food we got used to before we had kids? Will the kids eat the food I prepare for them, and if not, what will I do with the leftovers? How can one-year-olds eat so much and a four-year-old eat so little? How little time can I spend in the kitchen today?
It might be easier if I weren't such an avid reader. I add all sorts of questions to my list by reading up on nutrition, environmentalism, and food politics. Which foods should we really be eating organic? How can we eat locally grown food in a region where the growing season is short? Should I really take up canning and preserving to eat locally? Should we be eating less meat? Are the foods I'm serving really full of nutrients or do we need supplements to make up for the lack of nutrients in the farmer's soil? Can I do anything about reducing my family's exposure to genetically modified foods? Which fish are sustainably fished, low in mercury, and high in omega-3s? It's enough to get my head spinning.
Have you noticed that the most important questions from a quality of life perspective are missing? Shouldn't I be asking these questions instead:
What foods do we all like to eat?
When can we all eat together as a family?
How should we organize things so that we slow down and enjoy our meals together?
Even the quality of life questions don't have easy answers. 6 people have 6 different tastes and food moods. There are food sensitivities to consider. Andy gets home from work at varying times, usually after some of the kids are in bed. Do I eat with him or the kids? Patrick takes 10-15 minutes to eat and then gets bored. The younger ones often take 30-45 minutes to eat a meal. Some of Patrick's favorite foods are foods that the little ones aren't supposed to have for another year.
If money were tighter or options fewer, just eating enough calories would feel like success. But with a little more resource and too much information, it is easy for food to become a constant problem that needs to be solved rather than an enjoyable part of the day. The challenge is to find an acceptable balance. These days, I feel off balance. Worrying too much and enjoying too little. And, if I'm not careful, I 'll add worrying about that to the head-spinning.
I think I'd better just go play with the kids.
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
Sunday, April 20, 2008
Matters of Perspective
A houseful of sick children isn't any fun at all, but I have had a few interesting moments of awareness over the past weekend. The whole family has been fighting a nasty virus and William, Jocelyn and Michael have all had ear infections. Jocelyn, in particular, has been quite sick and has needed to be in arms for most of the weekend.
On weekends, there is a paediatric walk-in clinic very close to us and, on Saturday, I took Michael and Jocelyn to see the doctor there. The building is small and the office is up a ramp and down two steps, so it is not a good place to take a stroller. However, on my own with two sick toddlers, I insist on taking our double stroller. I was taking up most of the space in the centre of the waiting room when I heard some conversation in the hall that sounded like three kids being introduced. I was curious and poked my head out into the hall, where I found a couple with three 10-month-old boys. Thrilled to meet another family with triplets, I pulled the stroller into the hallway, where we were even more in the way and chatted with the other family until the doctor was ready to see us. Two of the boys were waiting to see the doctor. They have no other siblings, and their parents had come together with all three boys because it was the easiest option for them. It did seem easier for the two of them to handle their three boys than it was for me to handle two on my own, as they always had one adult who was only holding one baby. That said, it was easier for me to handle two children and the stroller than it would have been for Andy and me to handle 4 children, with or without the stroller.
As we came close to the top of the waiting list, I moved into the waiting room to be sure I heard when we were called. While I was standing there, one of the mums close by said something about my "twins" and I mentioned that they were two of a set of triplets. One mum close by made a comment about how challenging it must be and the mum sitting next to her commented that every child is a blessing. The second mum then went on to talk about her trials with infertility and stated that the child who was next to her is enough blessing if she never has another successful round of infertility treatment again. I don't know whether she was assuming that the triplets were the result of infertility treatments or she was using her experience to explain why she thought that any child is a blessing, even if it is hard work to have triplets. In either case, she is right that each of my children is a blessing.
One of the special things about this weekend was that, because of the special treatment everybody needed depending on how sick they were, I have been caring for unusual combinations of children at one time. I took Jocelyn and Michael to the doctor. I played with Patrick and William for quite a while today while Jocelyn was with Andy and Michael was having an extra nap. I played with William and Michael while Patrick watched a movie and Jocelyn was with Andy. I held Jocelyn while the others were with Andy.
I was particularly struck by the unique combinations at bedtime tonight. Andy was taking care of Jocelyn and I gave Patrick, William and Michael their bath together. The regular bedtime process starts with getting upstairs. Michael and Patrick can climb stairs well, though Michael sometimes slips if he gets distracted. William is only starting to get the hang of stairs. Patrick ran up the stairs and served as inspiration for Michael, who climbed quickly after his biggest brother. William was slower, but making progress, so I nudged him and assisted him in order to remain close enough to Michael to catch him if needed. All three got to the top of the stairs mostly on their own initiative. It was nice to be able to let William climb up and not have to carry him, which I would have done if Jocelyn had been waiting for me to get back downstairs.
At the top of the stairs, Michael made a beeline into my bedroom, which is not childproofed. Patrick ran in after him and held him away from dangerous things until I could come in and take Michael back into the hallway. Then, Patrick and I sped in front of William and Michael and closed all the doors off the upstairs hallway except the bathroom door. Michael and William wanted to explore the bathroom, so soon we were all in the bathroom with the door closed. The bath was short and sweet for Michael and William. Patrick stayed for a longer bath and I took the other two into the hallway, shutting the bathroom door behind us. The hallway is well secured, so it was easy for me to help Michael and William into pajamas while they played. A quick trip downstairs to make the night time bottles and the two younger boys were ready for bed. It seemed incredibly easy compared to getting the three youngest bathed together. For one thing, I had enough arms to pick up all the children I couldn't reason with. For another, Patrick was able to help. He helped keep Michael safe in the bedroom, and he helped keep William safe in the bathtub while I dried Michael off enough to let him roam the bathroom on his own. There was never a moment of panic that I didn't have enough arms to handle the situation.
For most of the past year, we have mostly either done things as a complete family or split up with Patrick with one adult and the three little ones with the other. This weekend, however, we have been forced to make different divisions and I have seen advantages to all of them. Hopefully, I will use this as a springboard for devising more activities that do not always split the family up by age. It is good for us all to experience all the combinations that our big family provides, and it is easier not to have one adult responsible for three toddlers. It is unfortunate that it took a weekend of sickness to make us break our habits, but sometimes it is only forced adjustments to our routines that allow us to see other ways that the world might be.
On weekends, there is a paediatric walk-in clinic very close to us and, on Saturday, I took Michael and Jocelyn to see the doctor there. The building is small and the office is up a ramp and down two steps, so it is not a good place to take a stroller. However, on my own with two sick toddlers, I insist on taking our double stroller. I was taking up most of the space in the centre of the waiting room when I heard some conversation in the hall that sounded like three kids being introduced. I was curious and poked my head out into the hall, where I found a couple with three 10-month-old boys. Thrilled to meet another family with triplets, I pulled the stroller into the hallway, where we were even more in the way and chatted with the other family until the doctor was ready to see us. Two of the boys were waiting to see the doctor. They have no other siblings, and their parents had come together with all three boys because it was the easiest option for them. It did seem easier for the two of them to handle their three boys than it was for me to handle two on my own, as they always had one adult who was only holding one baby. That said, it was easier for me to handle two children and the stroller than it would have been for Andy and me to handle 4 children, with or without the stroller.
As we came close to the top of the waiting list, I moved into the waiting room to be sure I heard when we were called. While I was standing there, one of the mums close by said something about my "twins" and I mentioned that they were two of a set of triplets. One mum close by made a comment about how challenging it must be and the mum sitting next to her commented that every child is a blessing. The second mum then went on to talk about her trials with infertility and stated that the child who was next to her is enough blessing if she never has another successful round of infertility treatment again. I don't know whether she was assuming that the triplets were the result of infertility treatments or she was using her experience to explain why she thought that any child is a blessing, even if it is hard work to have triplets. In either case, she is right that each of my children is a blessing.
One of the special things about this weekend was that, because of the special treatment everybody needed depending on how sick they were, I have been caring for unusual combinations of children at one time. I took Jocelyn and Michael to the doctor. I played with Patrick and William for quite a while today while Jocelyn was with Andy and Michael was having an extra nap. I played with William and Michael while Patrick watched a movie and Jocelyn was with Andy. I held Jocelyn while the others were with Andy.
I was particularly struck by the unique combinations at bedtime tonight. Andy was taking care of Jocelyn and I gave Patrick, William and Michael their bath together. The regular bedtime process starts with getting upstairs. Michael and Patrick can climb stairs well, though Michael sometimes slips if he gets distracted. William is only starting to get the hang of stairs. Patrick ran up the stairs and served as inspiration for Michael, who climbed quickly after his biggest brother. William was slower, but making progress, so I nudged him and assisted him in order to remain close enough to Michael to catch him if needed. All three got to the top of the stairs mostly on their own initiative. It was nice to be able to let William climb up and not have to carry him, which I would have done if Jocelyn had been waiting for me to get back downstairs.
At the top of the stairs, Michael made a beeline into my bedroom, which is not childproofed. Patrick ran in after him and held him away from dangerous things until I could come in and take Michael back into the hallway. Then, Patrick and I sped in front of William and Michael and closed all the doors off the upstairs hallway except the bathroom door. Michael and William wanted to explore the bathroom, so soon we were all in the bathroom with the door closed. The bath was short and sweet for Michael and William. Patrick stayed for a longer bath and I took the other two into the hallway, shutting the bathroom door behind us. The hallway is well secured, so it was easy for me to help Michael and William into pajamas while they played. A quick trip downstairs to make the night time bottles and the two younger boys were ready for bed. It seemed incredibly easy compared to getting the three youngest bathed together. For one thing, I had enough arms to pick up all the children I couldn't reason with. For another, Patrick was able to help. He helped keep Michael safe in the bedroom, and he helped keep William safe in the bathtub while I dried Michael off enough to let him roam the bathroom on his own. There was never a moment of panic that I didn't have enough arms to handle the situation.
For most of the past year, we have mostly either done things as a complete family or split up with Patrick with one adult and the three little ones with the other. This weekend, however, we have been forced to make different divisions and I have seen advantages to all of them. Hopefully, I will use this as a springboard for devising more activities that do not always split the family up by age. It is good for us all to experience all the combinations that our big family provides, and it is easier not to have one adult responsible for three toddlers. It is unfortunate that it took a weekend of sickness to make us break our habits, but sometimes it is only forced adjustments to our routines that allow us to see other ways that the world might be.
Thursday, March 20, 2008
On Going Home
They say you can never go home again. Sometimes, however, you can do something close.
Two years ago, Patrick and I spent most of the week with a single family. Patrick and I had very conveniently bonded deeply with a boy and his mother who lived extremely close to us. And, the rest of the families got along well, too. Our weekdays often started with a joint activity and sometimes involved lunch or an afternoon playdate as well. If Andy was traveling, the afternoons we spent together would often turn into dinner together.
Two weeks ago, as a March break special event, Patrick and I went back to our old neighbourhood in California while Andy stayed at home with Jocelyn, William and Michael. We stayed with the family of Patrick's best buddy. We are the sort of friends who can easily slip into being together after a long absence. It was almost like the past year had never happened, except for a few details: we were sleeping at their house; the boys are taller; the homework is harder; there were pictures and videos of three other children who look like Patrick floating around. But, for Patrick and me to spend a week based at their house with some separate activities seemed completely natural. Surprisingly often, there was no sense that most of our family was missing. It was a wonderful trip, but a slightly surreal experience.
This past week, we have been back in the reality of our now with our complete family. And, as so often happens after a vacation, the week in California already feels somewhat dream-like. And we are home again.
Two years ago, Patrick and I spent most of the week with a single family. Patrick and I had very conveniently bonded deeply with a boy and his mother who lived extremely close to us. And, the rest of the families got along well, too. Our weekdays often started with a joint activity and sometimes involved lunch or an afternoon playdate as well. If Andy was traveling, the afternoons we spent together would often turn into dinner together.
Two weeks ago, as a March break special event, Patrick and I went back to our old neighbourhood in California while Andy stayed at home with Jocelyn, William and Michael. We stayed with the family of Patrick's best buddy. We are the sort of friends who can easily slip into being together after a long absence. It was almost like the past year had never happened, except for a few details: we were sleeping at their house; the boys are taller; the homework is harder; there were pictures and videos of three other children who look like Patrick floating around. But, for Patrick and me to spend a week based at their house with some separate activities seemed completely natural. Surprisingly often, there was no sense that most of our family was missing. It was a wonderful trip, but a slightly surreal experience.
This past week, we have been back in the reality of our now with our complete family. And, as so often happens after a vacation, the week in California already feels somewhat dream-like. And we are home again.
Thursday, March 6, 2008
A Trio, Not Three of a Kind
It is hard to avoid a certain amount of batch processing with triplets, but some approaches seem more batch than necessary. For some things, a group makes sense. Mealtimes and bedtime, for instance. For others, a more individual approach strikes me as healthier.
Despite the unanimous agreement of people who claim to be experts that it is a bad idea, plenty of parents of multiples give their kids names that rhyme, start with the same letter, end with the same sound, or have some other "cute" relationship. Now, I have to confess that there is a relationship between the names of our trio, but I wouldn't call it a "cute" one; they are all family names. That said, they do come from two different families.
I have always been irritated, especially, by the folks who dress their multiples in matching clothes. From my perspective it focuses on their groupness and the random fact that they share a birthday rather than on the fact that they are three special little people. And, I think it is worse for identical multiples because they have a hard time establishing their uniqueness without matching clothes. And so, I have never before dressed my trio alike.
But, today, when I reached into the drawers to get clothes, I found a burgundy top and blue trousers on the top of all of Michael, William and Jocelyn's piles. Since I consciously dress them differently, I was curious to see what it would be like to put them all in these similar outfits. Michael was in denim overalls and a turtleneck, William in denim overalls and a henley, and Jocelyn was in a boyish long sleeve t-shirt and cargo sweatpants. Each of them were super cute. They didn't match exactly, but they were definitely a set. And, it irritated me all day. Sure, it was cute, but it seemed cute at the expense of my lovely children's unique personalities. When people look at my kids, I don't want them to see "Patrick and the Triplets", I want them to see Patrick the goofy, Jocelyn the imp, climbing Michael, and laughing William.
Michael, William and Jocelyn are sufficiently different in behaviour, mood, size, coloring, facial features, etc. that those of us who are with them every day were never in serious trouble with identifying them, but the neighbor girl who comes over once a week or so got the boys confused several times.
In the past, I had thought I could make allowances for people who wanted to have the cuteness factor in special pictures, but, after today, I have changed my mind on that. Special pictures tend to be seen by people who don't see you very often and these are the people who most need help in telling the kids apart. And public outings are worse; the kids are actually going to be there to hear if you don't get their names right.
And so, I don't think I'll be repeating this little experiment, but I'm quite glad I actually did it once.
Despite the unanimous agreement of people who claim to be experts that it is a bad idea, plenty of parents of multiples give their kids names that rhyme, start with the same letter, end with the same sound, or have some other "cute" relationship. Now, I have to confess that there is a relationship between the names of our trio, but I wouldn't call it a "cute" one; they are all family names. That said, they do come from two different families.
I have always been irritated, especially, by the folks who dress their multiples in matching clothes. From my perspective it focuses on their groupness and the random fact that they share a birthday rather than on the fact that they are three special little people. And, I think it is worse for identical multiples because they have a hard time establishing their uniqueness without matching clothes. And so, I have never before dressed my trio alike.
But, today, when I reached into the drawers to get clothes, I found a burgundy top and blue trousers on the top of all of Michael, William and Jocelyn's piles. Since I consciously dress them differently, I was curious to see what it would be like to put them all in these similar outfits. Michael was in denim overalls and a turtleneck, William in denim overalls and a henley, and Jocelyn was in a boyish long sleeve t-shirt and cargo sweatpants. Each of them were super cute. They didn't match exactly, but they were definitely a set. And, it irritated me all day. Sure, it was cute, but it seemed cute at the expense of my lovely children's unique personalities. When people look at my kids, I don't want them to see "Patrick and the Triplets", I want them to see Patrick the goofy, Jocelyn the imp, climbing Michael, and laughing William.
Michael, William and Jocelyn are sufficiently different in behaviour, mood, size, coloring, facial features, etc. that those of us who are with them every day were never in serious trouble with identifying them, but the neighbor girl who comes over once a week or so got the boys confused several times.
In the past, I had thought I could make allowances for people who wanted to have the cuteness factor in special pictures, but, after today, I have changed my mind on that. Special pictures tend to be seen by people who don't see you very often and these are the people who most need help in telling the kids apart. And public outings are worse; the kids are actually going to be there to hear if you don't get their names right.
And so, I don't think I'll be repeating this little experiment, but I'm quite glad I actually did it once.
Monday, March 3, 2008
Sleep
Parents of small children who don't sleep well tend to spend a lot of time obsessing about sleep. That would include me. Andy and I seem to have genes that combine to create children who walk early and sleep through the night late. Personally, if given a choice, I would vote for sleep through the night early and walk late, but the universe doesn't give us such choices.
In the early days of sleepless nights, the outside world is forgiving. "They have newborns at home, poor things. No wonder they look exhausted." It's even more so with triplets: "How do they get any sleep at all?" We actually did really well in the early days. We were given a gift of night time help, so we got to sleep through many of the mid-night feedings. Our nights were short and somewhat interrupted, but not completely broken. Then, the gift money ran out before the kids were sleeping through the night and we were on our own for nights. As sleep deprivation mounts, all sorts of things suffer and getting back to sleeping well becomes hugely important.
When infants are sharing a room and waking at night, there is always the question of "will they wake the others?" A certain amount of fussing while they figure out how to go back to sleep is sometimes good for one child, but it becomes a disaster when one baby wakes two babies, who then cry like mad about being woken up. It has taken us some time to find a balance that mostly works. And we are still working on the whole "sleep from bedtime until morning" thing.
On an excellent night, Michael, William and Jocelyn are asleep by 7:00 pm and Patrick is asleep by 7:30. Michael sleeps through until between 6:00 and 6:30 am. Patrick sleeps through until somewhere between 6:30 and 8:00. William and Jocelyn have each slept through until 6:00 or 6:30, but never on the same night. More often, one or both of them wakes and wants a drink of water between 3:30 and 4:30.
On a more typical night, we don't go in to see them any more often than on an excellent night, but Michael wakes and cries out 3-4 times before midnight and William wakes and cries out 3-4 times between midnight and the early morning water. After his early morning water, William often chatters to himself - or to Jocelyn if she will listen - for half an hour or more before going back to sleep.
Because of the concern about one baby waking the other two and the fact that sound doesn't travel well from the nursery to our bedroom, we have had the monitor on and are being woken by the cries that don't need help. It is time to turn the monitor off and trust that we will hear the important cries, and hope that the ones we miss don't turn into all-baby cry-fests. If that works, it will still take time for our bodies to sleep through the times when the babies used to cry.
Turning the monitor off felt like a big deal when Patrick was ready for it. It feels even more frightening now because of the possibility of mass meltdown if we don't wake soon enough. But it has to be tried. Wish us luck.
In the early days of sleepless nights, the outside world is forgiving. "They have newborns at home, poor things. No wonder they look exhausted." It's even more so with triplets: "How do they get any sleep at all?" We actually did really well in the early days. We were given a gift of night time help, so we got to sleep through many of the mid-night feedings. Our nights were short and somewhat interrupted, but not completely broken. Then, the gift money ran out before the kids were sleeping through the night and we were on our own for nights. As sleep deprivation mounts, all sorts of things suffer and getting back to sleeping well becomes hugely important.
When infants are sharing a room and waking at night, there is always the question of "will they wake the others?" A certain amount of fussing while they figure out how to go back to sleep is sometimes good for one child, but it becomes a disaster when one baby wakes two babies, who then cry like mad about being woken up. It has taken us some time to find a balance that mostly works. And we are still working on the whole "sleep from bedtime until morning" thing.
On an excellent night, Michael, William and Jocelyn are asleep by 7:00 pm and Patrick is asleep by 7:30. Michael sleeps through until between 6:00 and 6:30 am. Patrick sleeps through until somewhere between 6:30 and 8:00. William and Jocelyn have each slept through until 6:00 or 6:30, but never on the same night. More often, one or both of them wakes and wants a drink of water between 3:30 and 4:30.
On a more typical night, we don't go in to see them any more often than on an excellent night, but Michael wakes and cries out 3-4 times before midnight and William wakes and cries out 3-4 times between midnight and the early morning water. After his early morning water, William often chatters to himself - or to Jocelyn if she will listen - for half an hour or more before going back to sleep.
Because of the concern about one baby waking the other two and the fact that sound doesn't travel well from the nursery to our bedroom, we have had the monitor on and are being woken by the cries that don't need help. It is time to turn the monitor off and trust that we will hear the important cries, and hope that the ones we miss don't turn into all-baby cry-fests. If that works, it will still take time for our bodies to sleep through the times when the babies used to cry.
Turning the monitor off felt like a big deal when Patrick was ready for it. It feels even more frightening now because of the possibility of mass meltdown if we don't wake soon enough. But it has to be tried. Wish us luck.
Thursday, February 28, 2008
I Love You The Best
At the ripe old age of 4 1/2, Patrick is a little vague on superlatives.
When asked to name his favorite colour, for example, he is likely to reply, "Red...and blue...and yellow...and red...and green."
Nevertheless, when I heard him say to Jocelyn, "I love you the best," I thought I needed to address his comment. So, we had a discussion about how Michael and William might have their feelings hurt if they heard him say that to Jocelyn. I told him that it is okay to have a favorite sibling but it is important not to say so.
He absorbed the conversation in his own, inimitable, style. At breakfast this morning, I witnessed the following.
William, Jocelyn, and Michael were sitting in their high chairs eating Mum-Mums while I prepared their cereal. Patrick got down from his seat, walked over to them and said, "I love you the best, William." My heart skipped a beat. Before I could react, he continued, " I love you the best, Jocelyn. I love you the best, Michael." And then, without further ado, he returned to his own seat to finish his toast.
When asked to name his favorite colour, for example, he is likely to reply, "Red...and blue...and yellow...and red...and green."
Nevertheless, when I heard him say to Jocelyn, "I love you the best," I thought I needed to address his comment. So, we had a discussion about how Michael and William might have their feelings hurt if they heard him say that to Jocelyn. I told him that it is okay to have a favorite sibling but it is important not to say so.
He absorbed the conversation in his own, inimitable, style. At breakfast this morning, I witnessed the following.
William, Jocelyn, and Michael were sitting in their high chairs eating Mum-Mums while I prepared their cereal. Patrick got down from his seat, walked over to them and said, "I love you the best, William." My heart skipped a beat. Before I could react, he continued, " I love you the best, Jocelyn. I love you the best, Michael." And then, without further ado, he returned to his own seat to finish his toast.
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
First Steps
It seems appropriate to be starting this blog as the babies are starting to walk. For anyone reading this who doesn't know, the babies are Michael, William and Jocelyn and they are 10 months old. Jocelyn starting putting several steps together a couple of weeks ago and the boys have taken their first independent steps this week. And I am taking my first steps into the world of blogging.
I intended to start a blog while I was pregnant as a way to let folks know en masse what is going on with us. But, good intentions don't get you very far in the midst of an international, transcontinental move during a high risk pregnancy. I did actually find a host for a blog and create a web address and name for the blog and then ignored it for a year. So, now I'm trying again. Maybe the fact that we have settled into a home and a sort of routine will allow me to make this work. And, maybe not, but I'm going to give it a shot.
And so, a brief, general description of life as we know it. Things like descriptions of the kids personalities will have to wait for other entries.
Daily life is full.
At 6:30 am, the babies start coming downstairs for the day. Coffee is necessary for everyone over 4 foot tall. Diapers need changing; bottles need making; Patrick needs waking. By 8:30 on a week day, four children have been fed and dressed and Patrick is on his way to school. The kitchen is a disaster: trays, bibs, plates, and floor covered with food; milk, cereal, toast fixings, etc. still on the counter, waiting for Kate to get breakfast when the babies take their morning nap; and coffee cups half-full of cold coffee sitting on random shelves. Andy takes Patrick to school and then heads to work via the local shopping plaza. This is prime time for picking up anything unrefrigerated that is needed at home.
A short nap and some play time for the littlest ones and it is time for lunch. On a good day, the nap is long enough for Kate to get the breakfast mess cleared in time to make the lunch mess.
Patrick comes home for a 15-minute lunch between his morning Montessori school and his afternoon Junior Kindergarten at the local public school. Meanwhile the nanny is feeding the little ones. When Patrick is off at school and the other kids take their afternoon nap, Kate and the nanny attempt to eat lunch, fold laundry, clean the kitchen, wash bottles, prepare food for the evening, run errands, and maybe even get a few moments to rest. Mileage varies with the length of nap.
Patrick finishes school at 3:10. On a warm day, if everyone is awake in time, the two adults load up the triple stroller and walk to get him. After school, play time and homework until 4:30, when the dinner rush begins. By 5:45, four kids have been fed and are being coaxed into pajamas. Final bottles for the little ones and it's bedtime at 6:30. Then, Patrick gets a bedtime routine to himself while the nanny washes bottles and recovers the kitchen after the dinner mess. By 7:30 pm, the kids are in bed and the adults are exhausted and hungry. On a good day, food is ready to eat when Patrick gets to bed. Otherwise, there is still one meal to prepare.
Only Patrick will sleep through the night. At least once, and up to 4 times, between 3:00 and 5:00 am, parental presence is required in the nursery. The period between bedtime and 3:00 am is less predictable, but often involves some parental attention.
In the evenings, Kate and Andy trade off taking care of the household and getting some time to themselves. Andy is taking guitar and skating lessons. Kate has drawing lessons and time at the gym.
Weekends are more full.
Weekends see skating and swimming lessons for Patrick, attempts to get everybody out of the house for a bit, and progress on household projects. The absence of the nanny on the weekends means that some of the daily upkeep of the house is left until Monday morning so that special activities are possible.
The current mission of the adults in the household is preparing for the onslaught of a walking trio. Gates are going up. Furniture is being anchored. Rooms are being designated as appropriate for toys with small pieces. It's all slow going.
It all adds up to two tired adults - with four mostly happy kids.
I intended to start a blog while I was pregnant as a way to let folks know en masse what is going on with us. But, good intentions don't get you very far in the midst of an international, transcontinental move during a high risk pregnancy. I did actually find a host for a blog and create a web address and name for the blog and then ignored it for a year. So, now I'm trying again. Maybe the fact that we have settled into a home and a sort of routine will allow me to make this work. And, maybe not, but I'm going to give it a shot.
And so, a brief, general description of life as we know it. Things like descriptions of the kids personalities will have to wait for other entries.
Daily life is full.
At 6:30 am, the babies start coming downstairs for the day. Coffee is necessary for everyone over 4 foot tall. Diapers need changing; bottles need making; Patrick needs waking. By 8:30 on a week day, four children have been fed and dressed and Patrick is on his way to school. The kitchen is a disaster: trays, bibs, plates, and floor covered with food; milk, cereal, toast fixings, etc. still on the counter, waiting for Kate to get breakfast when the babies take their morning nap; and coffee cups half-full of cold coffee sitting on random shelves. Andy takes Patrick to school and then heads to work via the local shopping plaza. This is prime time for picking up anything unrefrigerated that is needed at home.
A short nap and some play time for the littlest ones and it is time for lunch. On a good day, the nap is long enough for Kate to get the breakfast mess cleared in time to make the lunch mess.
Patrick comes home for a 15-minute lunch between his morning Montessori school and his afternoon Junior Kindergarten at the local public school. Meanwhile the nanny is feeding the little ones. When Patrick is off at school and the other kids take their afternoon nap, Kate and the nanny attempt to eat lunch, fold laundry, clean the kitchen, wash bottles, prepare food for the evening, run errands, and maybe even get a few moments to rest. Mileage varies with the length of nap.
Patrick finishes school at 3:10. On a warm day, if everyone is awake in time, the two adults load up the triple stroller and walk to get him. After school, play time and homework until 4:30, when the dinner rush begins. By 5:45, four kids have been fed and are being coaxed into pajamas. Final bottles for the little ones and it's bedtime at 6:30. Then, Patrick gets a bedtime routine to himself while the nanny washes bottles and recovers the kitchen after the dinner mess. By 7:30 pm, the kids are in bed and the adults are exhausted and hungry. On a good day, food is ready to eat when Patrick gets to bed. Otherwise, there is still one meal to prepare.
Only Patrick will sleep through the night. At least once, and up to 4 times, between 3:00 and 5:00 am, parental presence is required in the nursery. The period between bedtime and 3:00 am is less predictable, but often involves some parental attention.
In the evenings, Kate and Andy trade off taking care of the household and getting some time to themselves. Andy is taking guitar and skating lessons. Kate has drawing lessons and time at the gym.
Weekends are more full.
Weekends see skating and swimming lessons for Patrick, attempts to get everybody out of the house for a bit, and progress on household projects. The absence of the nanny on the weekends means that some of the daily upkeep of the house is left until Monday morning so that special activities are possible.
The current mission of the adults in the household is preparing for the onslaught of a walking trio. Gates are going up. Furniture is being anchored. Rooms are being designated as appropriate for toys with small pieces. It's all slow going.
It all adds up to two tired adults - with four mostly happy kids.
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