I have budding "musicians" in the house. Just the other day, we had our first real jam session. Jocelyn was over-blowing a recorder. Michael was strumming a badly tuned guitar. William had made a drum kit out of some kitchen utensils and metal garbage cans.
It took some time for a band style to develop because these musicians all have very different inspirations. Jocelyn was imitating her big brother, who likes to be as loud as possible and doesn't care much about rhythm or melody. Michael has learned to play from a folk guitarist who plays children's music at a playgroup they attend. William's technique comes primarily from watching a YouTube video of a drum cover of the Black Eyed Peas' "I Got a Feeling."
So, the jam session started with a recorder fanfare from Jocelyn, "Old MacDonald Has a Farm" from Michael with lyrics and strumming, and a drum riff and shouts of "Good Night. Good Night. Good Night," from William.
With a little coaching, I managed to get Jocelyn to blow a little more softly into the recorder. In the meantime, William had started listening to Michael. The intensity of his drumming didn't change, but, over time, he chose to match his brother's lyrics. And, we had a rocked-up, out-of-tune "Old MacDonald" filling the house.
I need to invest in some good earplugs. With this cacophony as the beginning of music education in my house, it is going to be a long road. But, if the end result is people who enjoy making music, it will be a road worth walking.
Monday, November 16, 2009
The Joy Diet: Laughter
This week of "The Joy Diet", Martha Beck instructs us to laugh at least 30 times a day.
I must confess that I haven't been counting my laughs. Although, I do think counting my laughs with a manual counter might increase my laughs. Instead, I have been focusing on finding the laughs that I have been missing.
As I mentioned last week, motherhood has brought my serious persona to the fore. And, three 2-year olds in the house is enough to make anybody crazy if they take it too seriously. I have been letting the chaos get to me.
2-year olds are silly beasts. They don't know enough to follow conventions, they do what comes into their heads without regard to what society views as right or normal. Some of what they do is dangerous and really needs to be shut down. Some of what they do is funny the first time, but sure to be annoying the 95th time, so a moderated response is required. But, a lot of what they do is just silly.
My life is busy and my list of "should do"s is long. Too often, when one or more of the kids is up to something that is just funny, I don't take the time to enjoy it because I am too worried about getting something done.
My challenge to myself this week has been to take the time to notice the silly things and enjoy them. And, most importantly, to let the laugh out - choosing the laughter over the impatience. I don't know if this is getting me to my 30 laughs a day, but I have noticed a few things.
I used to notice the absurd in everything. It is harder to do now that my responsibilites are greater, but it is more important than ever.
I must confess that I haven't been counting my laughs. Although, I do think counting my laughs with a manual counter might increase my laughs. Instead, I have been focusing on finding the laughs that I have been missing.
As I mentioned last week, motherhood has brought my serious persona to the fore. And, three 2-year olds in the house is enough to make anybody crazy if they take it too seriously. I have been letting the chaos get to me.
2-year olds are silly beasts. They don't know enough to follow conventions, they do what comes into their heads without regard to what society views as right or normal. Some of what they do is dangerous and really needs to be shut down. Some of what they do is funny the first time, but sure to be annoying the 95th time, so a moderated response is required. But, a lot of what they do is just silly.
My life is busy and my list of "should do"s is long. Too often, when one or more of the kids is up to something that is just funny, I don't take the time to enjoy it because I am too worried about getting something done.
My challenge to myself this week has been to take the time to notice the silly things and enjoy them. And, most importantly, to let the laugh out - choosing the laughter over the impatience. I don't know if this is getting me to my 30 laughs a day, but I have noticed a few things.
- I enjoy the kids more.
- The chores don't get done quite so quickly, but I don't mind them so much.
- I remember the silly things more than the "developmental milestones" or annoying things when I am reporting a few of the day's events to my husband, so I get to relive the silliness.
- It doesn't take more than a moment to let the laugh out.
- The kids seem to enjoy it when I laugh.
I used to notice the absurd in everything. It is harder to do now that my responsibilites are greater, but it is more important than ever.
Saturday, November 7, 2009
The Joy Diet: Play
Oh boy, this has been a rough week.
Play shouldn't be so tough for me. I am an InterPlay leader. I spent years dressing up in costume to attend Rennaisance Faires. I spent my college years playing Vampire Tag. I have a lot of experience with play beyond my childhood years. I have even taught a seminary class that included finger painting.
But, the truth is that play challenges me to my core. In one of his workshops, Phil Porter, one of the founders of InterPlay and one of my heroes, said that InterPlay often appeals to recovering serious people. And, in my case, it is absolutely true.
I follow the rules; I get things right; I do what I am supposed to do. InterPlay has forms, instructions for movement. One of the basic forms, which I learned right at the beginning of my first class is "Walk, Stop, Run." The basic form is very simple. You Walk around the space. Then, when you feel like it, you Stop. And then, if you are feeling brave, you Run around the space. Finally, you are invited to play with Walking, Stopping, and Running. And then, Serious People get nervous.
You see, what happens then is that experienced InterPlayers take the instruction to play and jump with it, spin with it, run with it, lie on the floor with it, pick up a playmate with it, lean on a friend with it, and do an awful lot of things that don't look or feel anything like walking, stopping, or running. Somewhere in the midst of what felt like chaos, I realized that the teacher wasn't enforcing the "Rules" and that following the rules wasn't making me happy. What made me happy was sometimes to lean against the wall and watch or skip or gallop or spin or make a train or hold hands or lie on the floor - not just to walk or stop or run. And, now, I am one of those experienced InterPlayers that make Serious People nervous.
But, I am a well-conditioned Serious Person, so my Serious Persona takes over under stress. Motherhood has thrown me for a massive loop on the play front. There is so much to do that has to be done for all these little people who cannot yet do for themselves. My serious self has reared it's ugly head with a vengeance and has been forcing my playful self into hiding. I have been operating from the delusion that just because parenting is important, it must be serious.
So, this week, I used an InterPlay trick of thinking about something, in this case my desire to be more playful with my parenting and householding responsibilities, and then throwing it up into the air with a "wheeee" and I just let it float around up there for the week to see what happened. It has helped me find more ease. Not enough, but a beginning.
Maybe this approach will help me with NaNoWriMo 2009. NaNoWriMo is a novel writing challenge: start a novel and write 50,000 words of it during November. Last year, I really thought it was a massive but doable challenge if I turned my inner editor off and let myself write drivel. I wrote more than my 50,000 words and it felt great. This year, because I know that I can write 50,000 words, I have set my self-expectations higher and this is causing a degree of writer's block. I need to give myself permission to write another 50,000 words of drivel.
All in all, the week has been a reminder of how much we need play in our lives. In my case, and maybe in yours, we need it most when we think we can least afford it.
Play shouldn't be so tough for me. I am an InterPlay leader. I spent years dressing up in costume to attend Rennaisance Faires. I spent my college years playing Vampire Tag. I have a lot of experience with play beyond my childhood years. I have even taught a seminary class that included finger painting.
But, the truth is that play challenges me to my core. In one of his workshops, Phil Porter, one of the founders of InterPlay and one of my heroes, said that InterPlay often appeals to recovering serious people. And, in my case, it is absolutely true.
I follow the rules; I get things right; I do what I am supposed to do. InterPlay has forms, instructions for movement. One of the basic forms, which I learned right at the beginning of my first class is "Walk, Stop, Run." The basic form is very simple. You Walk around the space. Then, when you feel like it, you Stop. And then, if you are feeling brave, you Run around the space. Finally, you are invited to play with Walking, Stopping, and Running. And then, Serious People get nervous.
You see, what happens then is that experienced InterPlayers take the instruction to play and jump with it, spin with it, run with it, lie on the floor with it, pick up a playmate with it, lean on a friend with it, and do an awful lot of things that don't look or feel anything like walking, stopping, or running. Somewhere in the midst of what felt like chaos, I realized that the teacher wasn't enforcing the "Rules" and that following the rules wasn't making me happy. What made me happy was sometimes to lean against the wall and watch or skip or gallop or spin or make a train or hold hands or lie on the floor - not just to walk or stop or run. And, now, I am one of those experienced InterPlayers that make Serious People nervous.
But, I am a well-conditioned Serious Person, so my Serious Persona takes over under stress. Motherhood has thrown me for a massive loop on the play front. There is so much to do that has to be done for all these little people who cannot yet do for themselves. My serious self has reared it's ugly head with a vengeance and has been forcing my playful self into hiding. I have been operating from the delusion that just because parenting is important, it must be serious.
So, this week, I used an InterPlay trick of thinking about something, in this case my desire to be more playful with my parenting and householding responsibilities, and then throwing it up into the air with a "wheeee" and I just let it float around up there for the week to see what happened. It has helped me find more ease. Not enough, but a beginning.
- I have been playing at looking like I have it together. I went shopping for new clothes and bought tailored clothes which make me feel less frumpy. And, I have been putting on make-up before taking the kids to pre-school. I like looking like I have it together even when I feel overwhelmed.
- I skipped ahead mentally in the book to the chapter on Laughter and started trying to increase the number of laughs I got out of each day - which often involved getting more laughs out of my children; their laughter is infectious. And yes, folks, skipping ahead is hard for rule-followers like myself, so it counts as play all by itself.
- The kids love spray bottles. My kitchen floor always needs a good wash. If I don't care that the walls, table and windows get washed too and that spots get missed, there is a silly way to get my kitchen floor mostly cleaned and my kids entertained at the same time staring me in the face.
Maybe this approach will help me with NaNoWriMo 2009. NaNoWriMo is a novel writing challenge: start a novel and write 50,000 words of it during November. Last year, I really thought it was a massive but doable challenge if I turned my inner editor off and let myself write drivel. I wrote more than my 50,000 words and it felt great. This year, because I know that I can write 50,000 words, I have set my self-expectations higher and this is causing a degree of writer's block. I need to give myself permission to write another 50,000 words of drivel.
All in all, the week has been a reminder of how much we need play in our lives. In my case, and maybe in yours, we need it most when we think we can least afford it.
Sunday, November 1, 2009
The Joy Diet: Treats
This week's ingredient is to add at least 3 treats a day: one after your risk for the day and two just because. Martha Beck's definition of a treat is something that makes you feel like smiling. For me, this idea, lead me back to my InterPlay training.
In InterPlay, there is a concept called the Physicality of Grace. In English, there is not a good, common word for what we feel when we feel the opposite of stress. There are some that come close, but nothing that really captures it. In InterPlay, we use the Physicality of Grace to refer to how our bodies feel when we feel the opposite of stressed. Sometimes, it is easier to understand if you start by noticing how your body feels under stress. Then, when you think about the opposite of stress, you can feel how your body feels and call that feeling the physicality of grace. Once you notice the things that make you feel the physicality of grace, you can choose to increase them in your life. For me, this week, I tried to find treats that really gave me a full body experience of grace, not just made me feel like smiling.
My primary treat all week has been to use the super-minimalist version of the InterPlay seated warm-up every time I remember it - and to teach it to my kids because it is more fun in a group. Here are the instructions:
For a good summary of InterPlay, check out Grethen Wegner on InterPlay.
I have noticed things that make me smile and chosen them this week. The things that make us smile are unique. Nobody else will smile at exactly the same things I smile at. Our bodies are all different. Our brains are all different. We perceive and interact with the world differently. We all need to discover for ourselves what makes us smile.
For me, this week, the list of treats has included:
There is a richness to life when I choose these little treats. My overall life may be exactly the same, with the same frustrations and limitations, but the joy despite the frustrations makes it all seem less oppressive. I'll be choosing those treats more often.
How about you? How will you treat yourself?
In InterPlay, there is a concept called the Physicality of Grace. In English, there is not a good, common word for what we feel when we feel the opposite of stress. There are some that come close, but nothing that really captures it. In InterPlay, we use the Physicality of Grace to refer to how our bodies feel when we feel the opposite of stressed. Sometimes, it is easier to understand if you start by noticing how your body feels under stress. Then, when you think about the opposite of stress, you can feel how your body feels and call that feeling the physicality of grace. Once you notice the things that make you feel the physicality of grace, you can choose to increase them in your life. For me, this week, I tried to find treats that really gave me a full body experience of grace, not just made me feel like smiling.
My primary treat all week has been to use the super-minimalist version of the InterPlay seated warm-up every time I remember it - and to teach it to my kids because it is more fun in a group. Here are the instructions:
- Take a deep breath and let it out on a sigh. Repeat. Again. And once more if it would feel good.
- Shake out a hand.
- Shake out the other hand.
- Shake out a leg.
- Shake out the other leg.
- Shake out whatever you are sitting on. (Shake out your whole body if you are standing).
For a good summary of InterPlay, check out Grethen Wegner on InterPlay.
I have noticed things that make me smile and chosen them this week. The things that make us smile are unique. Nobody else will smile at exactly the same things I smile at. Our bodies are all different. Our brains are all different. We perceive and interact with the world differently. We all need to discover for ourselves what makes us smile.
For me, this week, the list of treats has included:
- driving through hills looking at the fall leaves.
- chai
- licorice tea
- wrestling with the kids
- reading about the history of Islamic achievements in art and science.
- fake hip-hop dancing in my living room
- the smell of freshly baked bread
- walking in the wind
- long baths with eucalyptus epsom salts
- white wine and sweet potato fries
- the warmth in my hand of a particular cup when the tea is still almost at boiling temperature.
- listening to music that I love but haven't heard for ages
There is a richness to life when I choose these little treats. My overall life may be exactly the same, with the same frustrations and limitations, but the joy despite the frustrations makes it all seem less oppressive. I'll be choosing those treats more often.
How about you? How will you treat yourself?
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