Life at Maximum Capacity

Over the years, I have gained a reputation of someone who does a lot with the time I have. And this may be true. Right now, however, I feel I am at my limit. And yet, when something else happens and needs to be dealt with, I find a way to make it happen.

I started this blog when life was relatively calm, and I had some minutes to devote to writing. Shortly afterwards, a few special events crept into the calendar and the writing slowed down to once a month. Since then, we have cut down on the amount of help I have taking care of the kids, I have started directing a play, summer vacation has meant more travel and more kids at home, and the little ones have become dangerous climbers instead of just maniacal runners. The end result is a level of running to keep in place that I don't think is maintainable.

Our basic schedule is full. Somewhere between 5:30 and 6:30 am, kids start waking. It takes until 8:00 or 8:30 to get everybody dressed and fed. About 8:45, Michael, William and Jocelyn need a nap. On weekdays, Andy leaves for work at about 8:45, sometimes taking Patrick to summer camp on his way. Sometime around 10:15, Michael, William and Jocelyn rouse from their naps, but not all at the same time. Those of us who are awake play inside until the rest are awake. About 11:30, Jocelyn, Michael and William have lunch. Sometime between 12:30 and 1:30, they show signs of needing a nap. They get up from their nap somewhere between 2:00 and 3:00. Between 3:30 and 4:00, the nanny arrives to help me out until after William, Jocelyn and Michael are in bed. At 4:00, I have to get Patrick if he is at camp. Dinner is at 4:45 and the dinner, bath, bedtime ritual for all 4 kids continues non-stop from 4:45pm until 7:30pm. After Patrick is in bed, Andy and I must have supper, do all business related to keeping the house running and prepare for tomorrow. Plus, Andy usually has work he needs to do in the evenings and I now have rehearsals several nights a week.

While the little ones are awake, they must be protected from themselves and each other. They are toddlers, so they all think all things are their individual property. They are good climbers without much common sense, so they try to walk off sofas and dive over furniture. They are preverbal, so communication with each other often consists of hitting, pulling and biting.

The kitchen floor must be swept (and usually mopped) after every meal. At least one load of laundry a day must be done - 2 is better. Toys could do with being picked up several times a day, but usually only get picked up in the evening. The cats are desperate for affection.

For the past two weeks, we have had a hot house. Our air conditioner failed and it turned out to be one of these problems that showed problems throughout the heating and cooling system. So, instead of just getting it fixed, we have been trying to decide how much of the system to replace and what to replace it with. I have been meeting with the salesmen and Andy has been doing the research on options and companies. When the salesmen have come to the house to make the pitch, they have all suggested that maybe we should have a meeting where Andy and I could both be at the meeting so that all of our questions could be answered at once. I have been polite and indicated that this would not be possible. I have not told them that given Andy's work schedule and my rehearsal schedule and the children's schedules, the only time that Andy and I are consistently in the same place and the same time is midnight to 5:30am. In fact, our paths cross more than that, but only just.

When something comes up, we deal with it, but something has to give a little.

Last week, I had to cancel a rehearsal for my play because the roof of the theatre building suffered damage in a storm. And then, this week, I got a call from the theatre manager telling me that my Wednesday night rehearsal this week could not be at the theatre because of a scheduling conflict. So, instead of preparing for rehearsal by reviewing my notes and planning what I was going to do with the actors, I prepared by clearing out my basement so we could use it as a rehearsal space.

Andy and I both need a vacation. But, it needs to be a vacation without the kids. Traveling with 4 small kids may be fun and good for them, but it is hard work for the parents. But, life with 4 active kids under 6 is sufficiently hard that nobody wants to take them off our hands for a few days. And so, tomorrow evening, we will get in the car after an early dinner and drive 5-6 hours to a house that we will spend the first morning child-proofing. It will be good to get away, but we will come back needing another vacation.