Matters of Perspective

A houseful of sick children isn't any fun at all, but I have had a few interesting moments of awareness over the past weekend. The whole family has been fighting a nasty virus and William, Jocelyn and Michael have all had ear infections. Jocelyn, in particular, has been quite sick and has needed to be in arms for most of the weekend.

On weekends, there is a paediatric walk-in clinic very close to us and, on Saturday, I took Michael and Jocelyn to see the doctor there. The building is small and the office is up a ramp and down two steps, so it is not a good place to take a stroller. However, on my own with two sick toddlers, I insist on taking our double stroller. I was taking up most of the space in the centre of the waiting room when I heard some conversation in the hall that sounded like three kids being introduced. I was curious and poked my head out into the hall, where I found a couple with three 10-month-old boys. Thrilled to meet another family with triplets, I pulled the stroller into the hallway, where we were even more in the way and chatted with the other family until the doctor was ready to see us. Two of the boys were waiting to see the doctor. They have no other siblings, and their parents had come together with all three boys because it was the easiest option for them. It did seem easier for the two of them to handle their three boys than it was for me to handle two on my own, as they always had one adult who was only holding one baby. That said, it was easier for me to handle two children and the stroller than it would have been for Andy and me to handle 4 children, with or without the stroller.

As we came close to the top of the waiting list, I moved into the waiting room to be sure I heard when we were called. While I was standing there, one of the mums close by said something about my "twins" and I mentioned that they were two of a set of triplets. One mum close by made a comment about how challenging it must be and the mum sitting next to her commented that every child is a blessing. The second mum then went on to talk about her trials with infertility and stated that the child who was next to her is enough blessing if she never has another successful round of infertility treatment again. I don't know whether she was assuming that the triplets were the result of infertility treatments or she was using her experience to explain why she thought that any child is a blessing, even if it is hard work to have triplets. In either case, she is right that each of my children is a blessing.

One of the special things about this weekend was that, because of the special treatment everybody needed depending on how sick they were, I have been caring for unusual combinations of children at one time. I took Jocelyn and Michael to the doctor. I played with Patrick and William for quite a while today while Jocelyn was with Andy and Michael was having an extra nap. I played with William and Michael while Patrick watched a movie and Jocelyn was with Andy. I held Jocelyn while the others were with Andy.

I was particularly struck by the unique combinations at bedtime tonight. Andy was taking care of Jocelyn and I gave Patrick, William and Michael their bath together. The regular bedtime process starts with getting upstairs. Michael and Patrick can climb stairs well, though Michael sometimes slips if he gets distracted. William is only starting to get the hang of stairs. Patrick ran up the stairs and served as inspiration for Michael, who climbed quickly after his biggest brother. William was slower, but making progress, so I nudged him and assisted him in order to remain close enough to Michael to catch him if needed. All three got to the top of the stairs mostly on their own initiative. It was nice to be able to let William climb up and not have to carry him, which I would have done if Jocelyn had been waiting for me to get back downstairs.

At the top of the stairs, Michael made a beeline into my bedroom, which is not childproofed. Patrick ran in after him and held him away from dangerous things until I could come in and take Michael back into the hallway. Then, Patrick and I sped in front of William and Michael and closed all the doors off the upstairs hallway except the bathroom door. Michael and William wanted to explore the bathroom, so soon we were all in the bathroom with the door closed. The bath was short and sweet for Michael and William. Patrick stayed for a longer bath and I took the other two into the hallway, shutting the bathroom door behind us. The hallway is well secured, so it was easy for me to help Michael and William into pajamas while they played. A quick trip downstairs to make the night time bottles and the two younger boys were ready for bed. It seemed incredibly easy compared to getting the three youngest bathed together. For one thing, I had enough arms to pick up all the children I couldn't reason with. For another, Patrick was able to help. He helped keep Michael safe in the bedroom, and he helped keep William safe in the bathtub while I dried Michael off enough to let him roam the bathroom on his own. There was never a moment of panic that I didn't have enough arms to handle the situation.

For most of the past year, we have mostly either done things as a complete family or split up with Patrick with one adult and the three little ones with the other. This weekend, however, we have been forced to make different divisions and I have seen advantages to all of them. Hopefully, I will use this as a springboard for devising more activities that do not always split the family up by age. It is good for us all to experience all the combinations that our big family provides, and it is easier not to have one adult responsible for three toddlers. It is unfortunate that it took a weekend of sickness to make us break our habits, but sometimes it is only forced adjustments to our routines that allow us to see other ways that the world might be.